


prelude

by emilia_kaisa



Series: why can't I say goodnight? [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Attraction, F/M, Melancholy, Not Beta Read, Pre-Relationship, pre-romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: She rarely does shows outside of Korea, feeling comfortable in her favourite corner of the world. But she likes travelling still, and she likes people, so when Javi reached out to her she agreed almost instantly, surprising even herself and making her management team groan with frustration. And now she's so happy she came all the way here, because somehow Spain feels like a deep breath of fresh air she needed for longer than she's ready to admit.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuna Kim
Series: why can't I say goodnight? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841974
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I've been thinking about this pairing a lot lately, and came up with an idea that I hope will develop into some nice project. Been in a cranky writing mood and this fic brought me much joy while I was working on it, even if it turned out a bit different than I had thought it would. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy!  
> (I apologize for any typos these little guys are pests lately :p)

Yuna wraps her finger around the delicate glass and brings it to her lips. It’s watered down cider and she enjoys it, the drink cooling her throat pleasantly. She feels like the banquet has been going on forever, but she’s not really tired, the atmosphere feeling her body with a quiet buzz of excitement. It’s in some ways different than events back in Korea, and she thinks vaguely that maybe she could come for some European shows more often. It’s small yet energetic and loud, but not too much to bear, and even though at the beginning of the tour she was feeling a bit distant from the others, being retired for so long, but now, a few shows already done and some still ahead, she feels almost as if not so much changed from when she was still competing.

“Hey.” Anna smiles when she steps closer to the table, reaching for two glasses “Love your dress tonight!”

“Thank you.” Yuna smiles, pleased with the compliment “I didn’t think I would manage to wear it, it got so wrinkled in the suitcase I thought I would never save it.”

“It looks great!”

She’s wearing a simple black dress embroidered with a silver strand at the bottom. It’s soft and comfortable, not like her shoes, because for some reason the only pair of high heels she decided to take all of the sudden started digging into her feet painfully.

“Come and join us, Elladj is about to tell one of those hilarious stories of his.” Anna proposes and Yuna nods with a smile, refilling her glass and following Anna through the crowded dance floor to one of the tables occupied by a little group. Anna steps aside a little, handing Ashley her drink, and Yuna smiles at everyone briefly before taking a sit next to Celia who nods at her, smile wide but just maybe a little bit shy. Yuna almost winces with a little gult she's feeling, aware that sometimes her carefully kept composure might be a little intimidating, especially for those she weren't competing with. So she makes sure to look at Celia with sympathy and then lets her gaze skim over the rest of the group, and she almost doesn't notice something akin to relief spiking in her chest when he sees that she's sitting in front of Javi.

She can't help it, her lips curling up in what she knows must be the widest smile of the day. He smiles back, warm and easy as always, and tilts his head a little, as if asking if everything was fine, and she nods before finally moving her gaze to Elladj, who's just starting a show of his storytelling abilities. It's fun and entertaining as always, but Yuna feels distracted a little, even though she still laughs at his jokes, taking some kind of pleasure of just sitting in a group of happy, relaxed people.

She rarely does shows outside of Korea, feeling comfortable in her favourite corner of the world. But she likes travelling still, and she likes people, so when Javi reached out to her she agreed almost instantly, surprising even herself and making her management team groan with frustration. And now she's so happy she came all the way here, because somehow Spain feels like a deep breath of fresh air she needed for maybe longer than she's ready to admit.

Yuna blinks quickly, realizing that she drifted away for real, and she bites her lip so hard it almost hurts, so she quickly takes a sip from her glass and manages to fully focus on what's going on around her, and even chimes into the conversation from time to time. It feels nice, but after a moment she starts feeling a bit lost in between inside jokes and voices growing louder steadily. It's getting really late too, so it's easy to excuse herself from the company, and it's not like someone's trying to stop her, all soft smiles and wishes of a good night.

She intends to go straight to her room, but as she passes the reception desk her eyes catch a glimpse of the street, night shimmering with golden and white light behind the glass door, and there's something so mesmerizing about it Yuna forgets about her aching feet, and about the fact that she has no jacket or sweater on, and she just walks outside, smiling at the confused receptionist before stepping on the pavement.

It's chilly but not freezing, and a bit louder than she should expect at this hour, but it's kind of nice, to feel how lively the city is, even in the middle of the night. It's oddly freeing, to just stand on a pavement that it's a little uneven and when absolutely no one recognizes her. She likes it, more than she would think, and she can't help but wonder if that's why Javi seems to be more relaxed, because this place is still on a shore of skating world, no matter how much effort he puts in slowly making a change.

And now, there it is, her thoughts drifting to him again, as if suddenly there was some current, some string pulling her to him, tiny bit by another tiny bit. She can't tell when it started, maybe when she was working with David lately, him always ready to talk and share stories. Or maybe earlier, in Pyeongchang, when he got his medal, or even earlier, when they held hands during an exhibition gala and his eyes shone with a dim light of broken dreams. She knows that feeling so well, and something pangs in her chest yet again, odd, a little unpleasant thing that she can't quite identify yet.

She never liked dwelling on the past too much, but sometimes she allows herself to be quite sentimental, look back for a second and refocus until the melancholy could take reign in her heart again. Not today. Not tonight.

"Aren't you cold?"

The shiver running through her body is the one of surprise, but she smiles, raising her eyebrows in question.

"Aren't you?"

"It's almost a pleasure, to be cold at home." he laughs, and maybe that sentence sounds odd, but she knows exactly what he means, and she has to smile a little wider, letting out a quiet chuckle.

He's not wearing a jacket either, white shirt a bit rumpled and unbuttoned at the top, and somehow he looks younger than a year, two years ago, and Yuna wonders briefly why is she even noticing that.

"We should get back inside." Javi says gently and Yuna nods, moving to walk by his side "You're coming back to the party? It's only getting fun now."

"I'd rather go to my room. A bit tired." she says and he nods with understanding.

"I will walk you."

"I won't get lost." Yuna chuckles, and Javi makes one of his funny faces, a grin spreading on his lips easily, kind as always and maybe just a tad wider than usual, but that can have something to do with the banquet, or maybe there's something else.

It's funny, she thinks as they walk towards the elevators, how he wears his smiles like she carries her calm expression, a solid armor just so people don't ask, and if they do- of course they do- it takes just a little effort, and after some time it becomes a second nature.

She's a little surprised when she presses the right floor button without asking, but she doesn't question that, too busy leaning against the wall and reaching to take these damn heels off. As she battles with the straps of her shoes, she notices how Javi moves his right leg a little, as if trying to shake the pain from his knee away, and she winces with sympathy but doesn't ask. If there are any unwritten rules in the skating world, one of them is being nosy about health. She knows that all too well, the feeling of your body becoming weaker and aching no matter how hard you try, so she just throws him an extra wide smile as she straightens up, sighing quietly when she finally stands comfortably on her bare feet.

"Looks like it feels good." Javi smiles as the elevator stops and they step outside, Yuna turning left and Javi following her with ease.

"It does." Yuna agrees shortly, really enjoying the slightly rough texture of the carpet under her feet. Javi looks like he wants to crack some joke, he can see that by the twitching of his mouth, and she wonders when did she have time to learn that.

In the end he doesn't say anything because in that moment she stops in front of her door, searching for her key card with one hand, the other busy carrying the shoes.

"Well." she hums as the door open and she turns to face Javi properly "Thank you for walking me."

"Sure." Javi shrugs, eyes glittering just a tiny bit "See you tomorrow."

When she walks inside, she leans her back against the door,, dropping the shoes to the ground and bringing her hand to rub over her breastbone, suddenly feeling something odd growing there, as if something swelled there, causing a small wave of nausea to run through her body, and suddenly her thoughts are running around and she has no idea what's happening and what's she doing, but she opens the door again and freezes when she sees Javi leaning against the wall just in front of her, his expression baffled for a moment before she gives her an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, didn't want to be creepy. Just... need a moment before heading back."

He sounds honest and suddenly a bit tired, and she notices little wrinkles around his eyes, and her heart aches for some unknown and mysterious reason, and when she takes a step forward it somehow feels like stepping to the past, when she was twenty years old and unaware of choices she would have to make.

"I just-"

Yuna isn't sure what to say, and honestly, it doesn't happen that often. And what does she want, exactly? Go back to sleep, go back to the party, go back in time?

"... I realized I didn't say goodnight."

He blinks slowly, and he smiles widely for a second before his expression dims a little, still gentle but thoughtful, and she can't help but wonder how would it be to kiss him, and for some reason the thought is both surprising and familiar, like an echo of an old dream. But it also makes her feel uneasy, so she shoots him a smile and steps back, and she can't look him in the eyes all of the sudden, embarrassment tasting bitter in her throat.

"Goodnight." she says weakly, and doesn't wait up to see his expression, only closes the door with a bit too much force than needed and almost jumps at the loud sound filling the room for a moment.

But then it fades away, and as she presses her palm right over her heart, ringing silence reminds her that she still, or yet again, utterly alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
